“This Majestic Life”:
An Integrative Wellness Blog

The Problem with the “Burn It All Down” Lore

The Problem with the “Burn It All Down” Lore

Jul 20, 2023 | Coaching, Self Expression

I joined Instagram this week as a biz owner. I know, what? Who just now joins instagram?!? Let alone, is anyone even on Instagram anymore? 🤦🏻‍♀️ 

When I created my first biz, I enjoyed being offline. I noticed I was in the comparison game and decided to reduce that equation to zero by deleting it.

Effective, sure. Yet I knew coming back to it would be required. 

Being off of social media allowed me to focus on building my business HOW I wanted to build my business AT THAT TIME. I was pretty vocal (ironically not in the vein of sharing with followers in a #humblebrag) about my pleasure in creating success in 2017 without social media or a website. 

But what I did do, regardless of what it appeared to look like, was deeply excavate this comparison game, this playing small game, this posturing of a too-cool-for-school teenager energy.  

That’s one of the reasons I love helping new and established entrepreneurs create their vision (in life and in biz) THEIR way because there are no guaranteed playbooks. You can be wildly successful with no strategic marketing or dead in the water with high-end marketing appeals. 

In my coaching container packages we PLAY together with how they want to create a successful life and business for them NOW while also digging into the depths of where fear can be making some decisions/patterns that are likely disruptive for the full gamut of truly living. That’s why the work I do directly deals with burnout prevention and embracing your vitality! 

I love playfulness and depth, and so it is both.

When I decided to move into the coaching realm and realized I wanted to also write a bit more Vs only to devote my business to client work, I was met with the same comparison game, just a much different level.

I posted a video online and wrote in my blog last week about hidden shame and since then I decided to just get online more to play with all of these rigid ideas. Again playfulness with the depth can be a much more enjoyable way to reframe vs. always taking things so seriously.  Because perfectionists just LOVE to take things so seriously. 

So this week I saw there was an author who just wrote a book about all the things I love–blowing up your “perfect” life and getting to explore YOUR actual, authentic YOU. Thereby allowing you to enjoy your life vs slide down the despair of perfectionism, achievement, accumulation and others’ definition of success. My favorite kind of story, walking away from what so many other people are relentlessly driving themselves towards. 

I ordered the book and can’t wait to read it. And since I love promoting creative women’s work which shows us the power of corralling chaos into creativity when it comes for us, I shared about her book on my Instagram and used her #areyouanamber campaign because well, I’m an actual amber!

On the surface some could say I did “blow up my life” when I decided to change my entire biz. I let go of my guaranteed and easy-to-create-for-me income, my definition of success and my rigid identity as a professional. It looked a bit destructive. Especially when the world was deep in mental health crises and I decided I didn’t want to take on new clients in the same paradigm I had always worked. I did, however, know deep in my bones I was not blowing up my life. 

Though this blog is spurred on by my post this week and I applaud her work. I also don’t want to stay on the surface. Social media is great at that. It was partially why I had/have some distaste for it. It There can be a poison in the whole idealization that can come from the current obsession with “blowing up one’s life and finding yourself.”

So I decided to play more with my images that I created on that post. I went to a fun expressive arts tool, the altered book, that I’ve been using in my own journey of corralling the intense energy of “blowing up” your perfectly curated life. 

Because I truly believe chaos has an innate intelligence to help you create, not destroy.

I also love the synchronicities that occur when you view chaos as creation. I found a book called The Vanishing Shadow, a reproduction of a children’s mystery book from the 1930s, the day before I was going to start my altered book project. I had no idea which of my beloved books I was ready to Alter/Altar. I went for a walk and saw my local neighborhood “little free library” box and boom, she was a perfect fit!

So I invite you to explore burning up/blowing up your life with some visual arts methods. Because when you play with this idea, you can see all the facets. Visuals can help you see it even easier than words do. Because blowing up your life can come from shadow, FOR SURE. It can also come from knowing that the Phoenix rises from the flames. 

Nuance matters. But in the time of fast content, clickbait and selling a book, a title creates intrigue and desire, but not always the truth. Many people love the story of rebuilding from chaos. But a fantasy can also turn into a nightmare.

I hold the space for the clients that want to burn it all down. I’ve been there. But in fact, I recommend caution because so many times I see it coming from the shadow side–wanting to self-immolate vs to create. To scorch the earth for revenge (healthcare providers are certainly on this rampage right now as the healthcare system topples) vs. a circumscribed fire for growth. 

As the words above note, “silence greeted her. It was a silence so absolute. Relief flooded.”

When we can get still with the chaos, a silence can come, the eye of the storm, and it can bring relief. You can see your capacity to create from inner calm, no matter what’s going on around you.

It can also be a lonely journey. It’s why so many of my clients are grateful the support. 

I invite you to consider how you can use this idea for yourself. And if you’d like some support, I’d love to chat.


May you find the Majesty,


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